"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.". Romans 5:3-5
I chose these verses this week because they tie in to what my life has been like the entire year of 2026, thus far. If you have been able to follow me, suffering has been the one constant in my life during all of 2026. I definitely have not rejoiced in it. I have grumbled and groaned my way through as far up as July 22, 2026 which is very recent. During the worst of my grumbling, God pointed out to me that He likens complainers and grumblers to potsherds. God speaks on potsherds in Isaiah. The way I understand it, potsherds are the lowest most worthless pieces of broken pottery. Broken is definitely a good word to describe me. I have been broken almost all my life. Although I like to think I'm beautifully broken! Ninety percent of the time I would describe myself as a hot mess. The good news is God has taken a broken, hot mess such as myself and turned things around to be used for his goodness, love, and glory. He took my broken pieces and built something beautiful from them. He can and will do the same for you if only you invite him into your life. He will use the beautiful creation He made from your broken pieces to provide hope to others and to glorify His goodness, grace and love.
Hope is defined on Google as wanting a positive outcome to happen while trusting or expecting that it is possible. Trusting being the word that stands out most to me. God needs us to trust that His will is sufficient for us. Jesus sent us the Holy Spirit by authority of his Father in heaven, to help strengthen and guide us on our walk with God and lead us closer to His will for us.
It was the end of May while I was laying on the floor of my home too sick to move when I gave up my will and cried out to God for His will to be done in my life. I was too broken and too tired to fight any longer. I'm a stubborn fighter by nature but that day I had no fight left in me. I feel it's something God had to allow. He used my illness to save me from myself. I was at an extremely low point in my life and was praying for death every day. I have a completely different outlook now and appreciate just being around to see my grandbabies smile. Don't get me wrong, the pain and sickness are still frustrating and some days overwhelming, but I understand now that all my suffering has a purpose and in time, God will show me why I suffer so and what I'm supposed to do with all the pain. I guess it's safe to say that now I am able to rejoice in my suffering, pick up my cross, and carry it with my head held high because I know God is in control and will turn my suffering into something good that will glorify Him and his never ending love and goodness.
On July 22, 2026, I made a very hard decision. I chose to once again walk away from the long time, toxic for both of us, relationship my ex-husband and I had built together, and tear my family apart once again. Seeing them in pain because of me is heart wrenching but I knew I had to do it to save myself. My ex-husband is a kind and generous person and one day, when the right one comes along, he is going to find the kind of love he deserves. I mentioned in "Testimony," that it is better not to be in a neutral environment. A neutral environment is exactly what I created in my relationship with my ex -husband. When it's neutral, you can no longer get hurt. If you shut out all feelings, you can not get hurt. That is no way to live. It is simply put, just a way to exist. Since leaving, it has been storm after storm, road block after road block but through it all God has never left me alone. He has provided my every need, every step of the way. Every time I thought that there was no way things were going to work for me, I surrendered myself to God's will and He has provided my every need. He wants to do that for all of us. You just have to invite Him into your life.
This week I challenge you to surrender your will to God and ask that His will and only His will be done in your life. Let Him be your guide, your strength, and your hope. I promise He will show you the way. All you need to do is breathe, listen, learn, trust, follow, and obey. I also challenge you to embrace the storms in your life. Look at them as lessons to help you grow in not only faith, hope, and God's love, but also for your own personal growth as a human being. Let the suffering fade to hope.
May God bless you
and keep you safely in His arms,
Christie
"God's Princess"
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